God’s ways never cease to astound me. Especially, how He knows just what I need at just the right time. And the same goes for all of his children. When my name was drawn last month I knew God would handle this blessing experience. I told myself He had all under His control and I was willing to go along for the ride. Just two days after receiving the money I went into Wal-Mart. I’m not a Wal-mart shopper but based on past Wal-mart blessing successes, I thought this would be a sure-fire place to find someone that could benefit from a $100 bucks. As I was heading to the regular store entrance some colorful flowers in the Lawn and Garden section caught my attention so I headed that way instead. As I walk in there is a young man in a wheel chair paralyzed from the waist down. He is a greeter, (although he never did greet me). He pretty much just looked down at the boring concrete. I tell you I walked in a six foot perimeter around him five times (yes, I counted) and he never noticed, but I noticed something about him that touched a place in my heart. On his nametag was the name of the child I had miscarried at 21 months. I thought, okay, he’s my blessing person. So, I mustered up the courage to say hi and told him I liked his name. He looked up at me and said thank you and quickly looked down at the boring concrete again. I left and went to look at plants. Through another Walmart worker, I learned he was not in need. Strike one for mission complete!
I prayed daily, God, this is in your hands and in your time, you’re in charge, captain of the ship. God gave me three other occasions to reach out to someone that didn’t need the money. My one-sided conversation with God continued. Okay, God, you’re teaching me patience and to wait on you, no problem. I know you work all things for good in Your time. I know you have the person in mind, but it would be nice if you would hurry up and put me in the path of whoever is supposed to receive this money I’m carrying around. Okay Godddddd… I’m on a deadline! It’s now the day before the Ten for him meeting, May 7th and I am still carrying around the blessing money. Maybe it’s a good day to go to the DPS and renew my driver’s license that expires this month. I’m feeling good about this, I KNOW there will be someone there I can give this money too. Before I leave for the DPS, for some reason, I look over my renewal notice and see that I can renew online. The voices in my head say, “You’re not going to find your blessing person if you renew online, go to the DMV. The time steward in my head says, renew online, think of the time you will save. The time steward won that fight. Five minutes, license renewed. Now, I’m going to have to show up the next morning and tell the Ten for Him group I failed to give away the money. It’s not a big deal, I tell myself, this is God’s timing.
Now, on to the next task of the day. My son Brian ripped his only remaining pair of school uniform pants after school and I needed to get a patch to mend them so he could wear them the next day. As I’m in line on Tuesday afternoon (a very looonngggg lineI might add) I’m trying to make eye contact with people to maybe start up a conversation and get my Ten for Him person. People are not cooperating. No one is eye contacting me back. Oh well, on to the next task. As I walk into the parking lot I start to pass an elderly African American woman moving slowly in a walker. I asked her if she needed help getting into the store. She replied, ‘No, I’m waiting for the cars to pass.” She tells me she’s okay, thank you. I asked her name. She told me. She was clearly not used to 5’9” women stopping and talking to her and it seemed this was going to be very AWKWARD! I said to God (in my mind), “what do I say to her to find out her story and whether or not she’s in need of this money.” She initiated the talk this time. She asked me what the name of the shopping center was and I told her I’d been coming to this shopping area for about twenty years and had no clue as to the name of the center. This lead to more small talk and finally her story.
She told me she was diagnosed with epilepsy when she was 12 and is currently she is living in an apartment . She’d taken the train and then a bus to this particular shopping center. She is battling with Medicaid to get the right meds she needs and is having a difficult time getting the assistance for living since the requirement is three seizures a month and she has an average of two per month. She also has knee issues. She told me about her son who is 38 and lives in Cedar Hill. According to her, he was in a gang in his teens and was addicted to drugs. She said he turned his life around and is now helping young men that are in the trouble he was once in. She said she sometimes purchased pants for 50 cents at the thrift store for these trouble young men her son works with. I asked if she could use some money and without hesitation she said yes. I gave her a brief explanation of our Ten for Him group. She didn’t seem particularly impressed or touched. I told her I was not there to witness to her but realize now, that basically I was and I unintentionally lied to her. I said God Bless You and she didn’t respond. The peace I felt was peace only God could give me at that moment. I realized that I really wasn’t going along for the ride with God, I had been trying to manipulate circumstances and fit people into my plan for giving. That usually never works well. God’s way is much better. God’s perfect timing for the money gift was yesterday. He knew He had to give me a reason to go to JoAnns, that’s why my son’s pants ripped at the time they did. He knew the schedule for this woman’s train outing. Most importantly, He knew, this woman, his daughter, needed to take out those dollars and see and touch that verse ten times as she separated the verse from the dollars.
That may be her first exposure to the God’s word. I don’t know but God knows what’s in store for this woman and obviously wanted her to get a message from him yesterday. God has opened this self-righteous sinner’s eyes in new ways this past month. I’ve learned to get outside my own head and thoughts and be the first to reach out to a stranger, whether a smile, kind word, or something to open a door to conversation. Brandon Heath’s lyrics for ‘Give Me Your Eyes’ really sum up what God has put on my heart through this experience. “Give me your eyes for just one second, give me your eyes so I can see everything that I keep missing, Give me your love for humanity, give me your arms for the broken hearted, ones that are far beyond my reach. Give me your heart for the ones forgotten, give me your eyes so I can see.”